Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Jewish Lightning Destroys 6 Black Churches, Osama Bin Laden Blamed
By Mel Goyson
Six "predominantly" black churches, and that was before the charring, have been burned, raising hopes among Jewish media bosses that it was done by white supremacists.
"With any luck, it was the Klan," said Sumner Redstone (✡). "If it was some self-hating blacks, that would really suck. The White Holocaust would probably be delayed by several weeks. However, a convenient event in the near future could fix everything. If that doesn't fly, MTV will be releasing new rap videos portraying Whites as vicious psychopaths who drive hybrids, visit Starbucks, and vote for Obama."
"I think it was a conspiracy perpetrated by Larry Silverstein," said Gus Montavo, Imperial Wizard of the DNMKKK (Dead Niggers Matter Ku Klux Klan). "You ever read the Artificial Nigger, by Flannery O'Connor? Well, the current state of affairs in the world is like a line from that story after a father and son get lost in the ghetto and find a statue of a nigger. It reads, and I'm paraphrasing: 'I guess there weren't enough real niggers, so they needed an artificial one.'"
"What the Hell are you talking about?" asked our reporter.
"Clones," said Montavo.
At that moment, Anti-White Special Forces burst into the room from every point of entry, silencing Montavo and erasing him from history. Nonetheless, he will reappear in a later article.
"Pull it," said Larry Silverstein. "Why the Hell did I say that while I was being recorded? And why did I say it again in an interview which mysteriously disappeared? What the Hell was I thinking?"
"It was the White devils," said Marshall Gladstone, of the Black Panthers. "Even if it wasn't the White devils, it was, cause all the crackas need to die."
"What if it was Eskimos?" our reporter asked.
"What?" asked Gladstone. "Why the f++k Eskimos be prejudiced now? Igloo-occupying motherf++kers."
"It was a vast far-right wing conspiracy," said Hillary Clinton. "Carried out by Neo-Nazis no doubt employed by whomever carries the Republican ticket."
Clinton then pulled a rainbow flag out of her pocket and waved it in front of her other hand, causing a small boy figurine to appear in her palm.
"Look," Clinton said, "Fudge Packer Smurf."